Written By: Uzma Ferdous
As a child, I have always been immersed in the world of science and mathematics. While many people around me despised algebra and trigonometry, it became a relaxing and safe environment for me. I was able to escape reality for a moment and indulge in my true passion. However, as I grew older, it seemed as if others — specifically men — tarnished the security I had in the world of science and mathematics. What was once an enjoyable environment for me now became a daunting and unsettling one.
As a woman hoping to become a computer engineer, my journey was one filled with discrimination. Many men decided that I was inferior, incapable of coding in programming languages, assembling robots, and understanding basic scientific and mathematical concepts. Even after proving my knowledge and skills in this field, I was still the outlier. I was the girl, not a teammate or a fellow competitor. I would receive backhanded compliments regarding my gender and zero consideration for larger, important roles. While few men would truly encourage me, it was the men in powerful positions degrading me and denying me from real opportunities.
No matter how much I told myself I was capable and intelligent enough, a part of me began believing the men who discriminated against me. “Am I really good enough for this?”
The unfair treatment I was subjected to launched me into a world of self-doubt. I saw my confidence dip as I slowly strayed away from the STEM field and attempted to find other hobbies. In class, I desperately tried falling out of love with physics and chemistry, and began forcefully glamourising subjects like History and French. I thought to myself: “Maybe I can just be a lawyer or even a teacher”, but I never felt as passionate about these careers as I did with engineering. Lost in my own web of confusion and self-doubt, I longed for the courage to bounce back into engineering opportunities.
With help from friends and family, I regained confidence in my capabilities. I realized that this discrimination was only a way of men safeguarding their comfort by making me uncomfortable. These particular men hoped to protect their male-based environment to prevent any diversity and balance from improving the STEM field. I then forced myself back into engineering-related clubs, rediscovered my passion for mathematics and the sciences, and joined teams targeted towards bridging the gender gap in STEM. I realized that giving in was just what the men who silenced me would want.
Unfortunately, I am not the only person with this history of being discriminated against in the STEM community. Many of my friends and teammates have had parallel experiences of self-doubt, fluctuations in self-confidence, and trouble in regaining their courage to bounce back into the STEM career field. More clearly than ever, discrimination can close doors to opportunities and stop someone from pursuing their dreams. Actively challenging and combatting this discrimination is the only solution. As Maya Angelou once said: “Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet”.